Persuasion is all about moving people to action. Aristotle defined it as “the art of getting someone to do something they would not ordinarily do if you didn’t ask.” The bottom line when it comes to persuasion is getting someone to do something. How we communicate can make all the difference between a “Yes” or “No” response.Most of the time people are directive, telling instead of asking, when they want something. For example:Clean your room.Fax me the authorization form.Get me the sales numbers.Each request is direct and to the point. The communication may be clear but unfortunately people don’t like to be told what to do. And none of the statements above requires a response, which means the recipient of the message might hear what’s being said but think to himself or herself, “No” without ever having to say it.Each of us makes requests of people daily, and the science of influence tells us with certainty there are better ways to structure our communication if we want to hear “Yes” more often. If you want to make a request like a persuasion expert follow this simple formula: R = W + T + B + R + DRequest = What + Timeframe + Because + Reason + DownsideHere’s an example using the formula: Would you get me the authorization form by this afternoon because without it I can’t proceed any further on your claim, which will delay your payment by several more days? A number of persuasive techniques are used in the example above so let’s dissect each part.“Would you” – Adding these two words turns the statement into a question and engages the principle of consistency. A question like this demands a response and once someone says “Yes,” the likelihood they’ll do what you want has gone up significantly.“by this afternoon” – These three words ensure you’ll get what you want within a timeframe that’s acceptable to you instead of being left to chance. If someone says they can’t get it within the allotted time you can engage reciprocity. Immediately upon hearing no, if you put out a new timeframe (i.e., How about by tomorrow afternoon?) your odds of hearing “Yes” have just gone up because most people are willing to meet us part way after we’ve first conceded a little bit.“because” – One study showed a 50% increase in “yes” responses when a request was tagged with “because” and a reason was given. This even worked when the reason was bogus! We’re conditioned from childhood to almost mindlessly do what we’re told when “because” is used. Do you remember your parents ever saying, “Because I said so!” in response to your asking why you had to do something? We’ve all been there and maybe you’ve used that phrase yourself. “I can’t proceed any further on your claim, which will delay your payment” – This invokes the principle of scarcity. People are much more motivated by the thought of losing something as opposed to gaining the same thing. In this instance the person knows they won’t be paid until they’ve done what’s being asked. This is much more effective than saying, “As soon as I get it I’ll proceed on the claim and you’ll get paid.”Once more compare the two requests for the same thing:Fax me the authorization form.vs.Would you get me the authorization form by this afternoon because without it I can’t proceed any further on your claim, which will delay your payment?Next time you need something from someone or you need them to do something remember to structure your request by asking instead of telling. Let them know what you want and when you need it by. Tag your request with “because” and a legitimate reason. Finally, let them know what happens if they don’t do what’s asked…the downside. Follow this simple approach and you’re sure to hear “Yes” more often.
Brian Ahearn, CMCT® Chief Influence Officer influencePEOPLE Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.