Okay so last time we talked about figuring out how other people take in information, based on whether they were a sensor or a intuitive person. Now the next part in learning how to read people deals with how they communicate with other people. This is where you determine whether they’re a thinker or feeler. This aspect of reading people is extremely important especially when it comes to influencing someones decision making. People are going to either make their decisions in a logical, analytical way, or an emotional value driven manner. Your job is to figure out which method they’ll use in order to be as effective as possible when influencing them.
One useful thing to remember when labeling someone a thinker or feeler is that men tend to be thinkers (65%) and women have a tendency to be feelers (65% as well). When you’re talking to people, notice how they react to the things that you say, and how they speak. Do they seem kind of insensitive and distant, or warm and friendly? If they seem to relate to others well and effectively empathize with people, then chances are they’re feelers. On the other hand, If they seem rather impersonal and most of what they say is based on logic rather than ethics and values, they’re probably more of a thinker.
When speaking with the thinking type, often times they’ll come across as a no BS right to the point type of person. They’re typically not too fond of small talk either, which is one thing feelers usually like to engage in . When feelers are speaking, they’ll usually talk about things in terms of how they feel about them. They tend to be better at and enjoy discussing personal matters on a deeper level. They’re good at putting themselves in the other persons situation and understanding what they’re going through. However, sometimes the feeler ends up taking certain things like business decisions personal, when they really aren’t a personal issue. This is the thinkers strong point. They usually have the ability to detach themselves from things like that, and for that very reason are often the people that make those type of business decisions that feelers can’t seem to bring themselves to make.
Another aspect of communication to look at when reading people is frequently they touch the person they’re talking to. Often times, feelers will touch the other persons hand, shoulder, arm, back and knee (if sitting down) to emphasize their concern or emotion they’re feeling at the moment. Sometimes thinkers do this too if they’re a strong extravert, but typically they engage in this type of behavior far less than feelers do.
Although these are all things that are very useful when learning how to read people and determine their personality type, you should never completely determine their type preference based on one clue. The more clues you gather and tells you pick up from the other person, the more accurate your conclusion will be. There is one more type preference you will have to determine in order to perform an accurate read on someone, and that’s what we’ll discuss next time. In the mean time practice what you’ve learned. The more people you analyze, the better you’ll get.