“How do I love thee? Let me count the ways,” is a famous line from an Elizabeth Barrett Browning poem. Counting the reasons you love someone (or like a friend, enjoy your car, prefer a certain store, etc.) is only good advice if you don’t have to count too high. In fact, I’ll go so far as to say don’t have people count past one hand. Allow me to explain. I’ve been rereading Daniel Kahneman’s Thinking, Fast and Slow. If you want a great overview of how your subconscious and conscious minds work then you’ll want to pick up his book. He touches on our irrationality, similar to Dan Ariely’s work in Predictably Irrational, heuristics (click-whir responses) as mentioned by Robert Cialdini in his classic Influence Science and Practice, as well as many other concepts about how our minds work.As I’ve been reading I’m struck by the reality that our minds work in ways that are quite often opposite of what we might expect. For example, who would be more persuaded to buy a BMW? The person who is asked to list a dozen reasons BMWs are great cars or the person who is asked to list just three reasons? Most people would intuitively guess the person who lists a dozen reasons. After all, if you can come up with 12 reasons it must be a good car, especially when considered against just three reasons. Unfortunately you’d be wrong. In several different studies cited in Thinking, Fast and Slow, Kahneman clearly show people who are asked to generate fewer reasons are more persuaded than those who have to come up with many more. Why is this the case? If you can easily come up with three reasons you are probably pretty confident a BMW is an excellent car. However, if asked to come up with lots more, and you do so but struggle in the process, you start to wonder if the BMW is really as good as you think. The struggle allows doubt to creep in.This feature of thinking is common to all people. When we can quickly come up with a few reasons we are for gay marriage or against it, for a political candidate or against the candidate, for tax increases on the wealthy or against them, or for or against anything else, we will be even more confident that our position (for or against) is the correct decision. However, if asked to list many more reasons we might just wonder how strong our case really is.Pause to consider this if you happen to be in marketing or sales. Inundating people with reasons your product or service is the best might not work as well as hammering home three to five reasons because your prospective customer will probably easily recall two or three of those reasons. However, a laundry list of why your offer is so great will only work against you!There’s a saying, “Sometimes less is more,” and it’s certainly the case when you want someone to believe your product or service is the right one for him or her. By the same token, when it comes to love, “How do I love the? Let me count the ways,” will work much better if you save your loved one some time and energy and just ask them to tell you two or three things they love about you! 
Brian Ahearn, CMCT® Chief Influence Officer influencePEOPLE Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.
Drive for Show, Putt for Dough
My wife is a heck of a golfer. She’s the poster child for the power of golf lessons and practice. About 10 years ago she was a very average golfer, shooting between 100 and 110. After years of lessons, practice and consistent play she’s transformed her game to the point where she consistently shoots in the low 80s and occasionally the upper 70s. Last year she had a pressure match and had the best round of the year. Her pressure was playing 18 holes with rock legend Alice Cooper who happens to be a scratch golfer. That day Cooper shot a 75 and Jane had a season best 78. Needless to say, he was impressed!There’s an old saying in golf – “Drive for show, putt for dough.” Crushing a drive off of the tee is impressive but to be a great golfer it comes down to play around the green, particularly putting. That’s so because putting accounts for approximately 40%-50% of a golfer’s score. For example, a par four hole may be anywhere from 400-475 yards. A good golfer will reach the green in two shots then most likely take two more strokes to putt the ball 20-30 feet into the hole. Persuasion is a lot like putting. It doesn’t seem like something that should take too much time or practice because it usually comes at the end of a long process. However, when viewed as critical as putting, it deserves a tremendous amount of time and attention.Daniel Pink, author of To Sell is Human, cited a study where more than 7,000 businesspeople were asked how much of their time was spent in non-sales selling (i.e., persuading). The answer was 40%! That’s right, apart from selling, businesspeople estimate they spend 40% of their time, or 3.2 hours a day, trying to persuade other people to do things.If you spent 40% of your day (or more for salespeople and leaders) engaged in a particular activity wouldn’t it make sense to devote time and effort to improving in that area? Of course it would!Great golfers spend an inordinate amount of time on the putting green because tournaments are usually won and lost on crucial putts. If your job requires you to sell, work with others or work through others, then you’re like the pro golfer. You should be working on your putting (persuading). Leaders – Whether you’re a supervisor, manager or senior level executive, your success depends on the performance of your team. Your ability to get them to buy into your vision and execute it enthusiastically is vital to your success.Salespeople – Success for you culminates in a “Yes” from prospects and current clients. Understanding how to communicate in a way that makes “Yes” come easier and faster will impact your income via commissions earned.Not in sales or management – Undoubtedly you still need assistance and cooperation. You may need coworkers, suppliers, vendors or even your boss to do certain things. Knowing how to ethically influence these groups can make your days much, much easier.At home – Life is much nicer and pleasant at home when your spouse, roommates, children and neighbors more willingly go along with what you propose. Whether you’re looking for professional success or personal happiness, I believe understanding how to ethically persuade others will go a long way – longer than any drive off the tee – to help you achieve that success and happiness.Drive for show but persuade for dough!
Brian Ahearn, CMCT® Chief Influence Officer influencePEOPLE Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.
Setting the Stage for a Successful Sales Call
Let me ask you a question and please be honest; doesn’t it bother you when the doorbell rings and someone has showed up unannounced and tries to sell you something? I’m confident everyone reading this agrees that’s not how you want to be approached. Then why do salespeople do that to their business customers?Salesperson – “Hi Pat. I was in the area and thought I’d pop in to say hello. Do you have a few minutes to talk because I’d love to tell you about…blah, blah, blah.”All too often people agree to give up some time because they don’t want to appear rude but here’s a newsflash for the offensive salesperson – they aren’t listening to you! They’re wondering why they didn’t honestly tell you they didn’t have time to see you and are counting the minutes until you leave.Holding successful sales calls entails setting the stage because you want to be in front of people who want to see you and believe you might just be able to help them or their business.So how do you set the stage? A little pre-call planning and understanding psychology goes a long way.Common courtesy dictates you contact a client (current or potential) to find a date and time that works for both of you. I always suggest doing this by phone because it allows you to inform them about why you want to see them and find out if there are any things you should be considering in advance.Salesperson – “Hi Pat, it’s Jim. I was calling to see if we could find a time when I could stop by. I’d like to find out how things are going and share with you some things I think you’ll find very interesting.”A big reason to make this initial contact is to give the client time to think about you, your company, and your product or service. Next, follow up immediately with an email thanking them for their willingness to meet with you, confirming the date and time, and giving them some information to look over and think about. Make sure to ask them if they will look at it in advance because when they say yes, the likelihood they will do it goes up. This approach taps into the principle of consistency – people feel internal psychological pressure and external social pressure to be consistent in what they say and do. Salesperson – “Thanks for making time to see me next Tuesday at 2:30 p.m. To get the most out of our time would you take a few moments to look at the link below?”Setting up the sales call like this also taps into a psychological concept known as priming. Simply sharing information beforehand can change how people think and behave. Resend the original email on the day of the sales call to remind the client of the time and ask if they’ve looked at the information you shared. If they haven’t already they’re very likely to in response to your email. Again, they don’t want to meet with you and not have done what you asked.As the meeting starts, again, thank them for their time. Allow them the opportunity to share what’s on their mind before you launch into your presentation. After the meeting it’s always a good idea to send a follow-up email. The reason for this email is to confirm any sale, agreed upon next steps or action items. If you came away with a different impression than the client this is the time miscommunication can be dealt with.If you’re a salesperson I challenge you to try this approach to a sales call. Clients and potential clients will appreciate you respecting their time. You’ll also have the benefit of a much more productive meeting because your contact will have had three or four opportunities to think about your offer.
Brian Ahearn, CMCT® Chief Influence Officer influencePEOPLE Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.