I recently watched a very interesting interview with Charles Duhigg, the author of The Power of Habit. I read the book several years ago and was fascinated by the subject matter and scientific research Duhigg shared throughout the book. Watching his interview renewed my interest in the subject and started me thinking about how habits and influence intersect.I’ve personally seen how forming good habits can be extremely beneficial. As a teenager I got in the habit of working out because I wanted to get in shape for football. The habit of weightlifting stayed with me because I enjoyed it and I eventually I added running to my fitness mix. For decades my days have consisted of getting up very early to read, then workout or run. For me that morning habit is as regular as eating breakfast or showering before work. Duhigg would call this a “keystone” habit because it positively affects other things I do. For example; in addition to being a little smarter and more fit, by the time I get to work I feel ready to tackle just about anything because of my morning routine.The great thing about habits is they remove the burden of thinking. That frees us up to devote energy to other items competing for our attention. If you pause for a moment to consider your habits you’ll probably realize almost all of them occur with little or no thought. When habits are good that’s wonderful. However, when habits are poor it can be tough to change them.As a persuader it’s important that you understand this because quite often you’re not looking to persuade someone into a one-time behavioral change. After all, you don’t want to have to persuade your child every day to do their homework do you? If you’re the boss at work you don’t want to have the same conversation over and over to influence an employee to show up on time, do you? Wouldn’t it be great if those behavioral changes took hold and were lasting? It’s my goal to help you learn how to Influence PEOPLE into lasting change.Let’s look at the example of trying to persuade an employee to show up to work on time. You could use every principle of influence in this effort.Liking – Appeal to the relationship you have with them and ask them to do a personal favor for you and start showing up on time.Reciprocity – Leverage something you’ve done for the person in the past by referencing it and asking for their help in return.Consensus – Let them know everyone else makes it to work on time so there’s no reason they shouldn’t also.Authority – While not always advisable, you can reference you’re the boss and this is the expectation. However, beware that playing on your positional authority can cause resentment and that usually doesn’t lead to lasting change.Consistency – After having some conversation about why they’re late so often ask them if they’ll commit to start showing up on time rather than telling them that’s what they need to do.Scarcity – There is probably a downside to continually showing up late – no bonus opportunity, no raise, possibly losing their job – so appealing to this potential loss is certainly an option.In The Power of Habit, Duhigg shares scientific research that every habit has three parts: a cue, the routine and a reward. The cue is the trigger that starts the routine and it’s almost always one of five things:A certain location (some people only smoke in bars)Time of day (morning prompts many to exercise)An emotional state (loneliness causes some to drink)Other people (someone who pushes your buttons)An action that immediately precedes the routine (this could be a song triggering memories).The reward can be many things – pleasure, pain avoidance, feeling better about one’s self, feeling a sense of control, etc. Remember, we all get something out of our habits, even those that appear self-destructive. In some cases your attempts to change someone’s behavior can be very difficult because old habits die hard. In fact, Duhigg suggests, based on research, that you never really get rid of old habits, you only replace or change them. This is why so many smokers gain weight when they try to quit because they replace their smoking routine with eating when their cues trigger them. In the case of the late employee, you know it’s possible for them to get to work on time because the vast majority of people do it every day, even those who might have more hectic and stressful home lives than your chronically late employee. So what are you to do?You can help them identify the triggers that tend to make them late. For some people time is like money – they’ll use up every last penny or every last minute no matter how much extra time or money they may have. So getting up a little earlier may not be the solution. Help the person establish a new cue that will allow them to get to work with at least 10 minutes to spare. That could be another alarm clock going off, the coffee maker brewing a cup of coffee for their drive in or something else that alerts the person it’s time to stop everything and head to the car. If it’s a spouse or kids that are part of the problem then the person needs to let them suffer their own consequences for getting up late, not coming to breakfast on time or whatever else it might be. That won’t be easy but if they don’t do that they’ll forever be a slave to other people’s behavior and they, not the others, will pay the cost.The principles of influence can certainly come into play when you have this conversation with the employee. The conversation turns from “You need to get to work on time” to “How can I help you figure out what you need to do in order to get to work on time?” The more principles you use in that conversation the more success you’re likely to have.Brian Ahearn, CMCT® Chief Influence Officer influencePEOPLE Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.Cialdini “Influence” Series! Would you like to learn more about influence from the experts? Check out the Cialdini “Influence” Series featuring Cialdini Method Certified Trainers from around the world.
Q & A, Dr. Matsumoto- Psychology, Emotion and Work
The Student Doctor Network recently did a Q & A with SFSU’s Culture and Emotion Research Laboratory director and Humintell’s Director Dr. David Matsumoto.
In this interview Dr. Matsumoto delved into the topics of psychology, microexpressions (one of of his specialties), and what his typical work day looks like. He was asked questions such as, how and why did you choose the doctorate program you attended and what do you like least about being a psychologist.
For a sneak peek see some of his answers below. For a more in depth look read the entire article.
What do you like least about being a psychologist?
I don’t like the politics and administrative work that are involved in doing my work. I definitely don’t like waiting to get the answer once I do a study. I could have an interesting research question and do a study, but it could take me two years to get the answer. It’s not something that I can get immediately, so I don’t like waiting because I’m kind of an impatient guy.
Describe a typical day at work—walk readers through a day in your shoes.
I’m up around 5:30 a.m. I’ll decide then if I’ll get up then and work or if I’m going to stay in bed for an extra 30 minutes and then get up. As soon as I wash up, I go straight to my study in my house. I write every morning, six days a week. Whether it’s a journal article, chapter, book, grant proposal, I’ll be writing, which is a creative activity for me. I’ll spend one and a half to three hours, six days a week, doing that with minimal interruptions and I have done that for over 30 years. After that time, I’ll take my dog for a walk and eat breakfast. From there I usually go to one of my offices and supervise work going on there. I’m generally always moving from one office to the next, usually doing work which requires coordinating with other people, such as seeing how data collection is going, analyzing data, etc. I take breaks here and there. In the evening I go home or go to judo practice at my dojo, the East Bay Judo Institute
On average: How many hours a week do you work? How many hours do you sleep per night? How many weeks of vacation do you take?
On average I work 12-hour days three times a week and 12- to 14-hour days the other days in the week. I work a total of about 70 hours a week. When I was coaching judo, I had much longer days. I usually sleep seven to seven and a half hours a night. I can’t remember a time in the past where I took a week vacation where I did absolutely nothing to do with work or judo. Even now when go on vacation, the longest being around 10 days, most mornings I keep writing. Instead of taking long vacation, I tend to rest my mind and body throughout the month. I look forward to not doing anything on Saturday afternoons or evenings. Micro breaks throughout the day work better for me.
Dr.Matsumoto’s best advice, “…is to learn basic research methodology really well. Become a critical thinker and reader. Be a good scholar. Work hard.“
Don’t Ask, Don’t Sell
One of the biggest reasons salespeople fail to make the sale is simply because they don’t ask for it. It’s easy to tell someone all about your company, product or service. After all, a good salesperson will know about these things backwards and forwards. However, asking for the sale (a.k.a. “closing the sale”) can be scary because of the fear of rejection.Some of the biggest regrets people have are not when they stepped out and failed but when they failed to step out. When we don’t take a chance we’re often haunted by what might have been and ask ourselves, “What if…?”Studies show people who ask for favors often underestimate the number of people who would be willing to help. In fact, they underestimate it by a lot! In one study, when asked how may strangers they’d have to ask to walk them a few blocks to a location they’ve been unable to find on a college campus, most people assumed they’d have to ask seven or more strangers before one person would take the time necessary to help. However, when they actually asked for help, the number of people they had to approach was only two or three before they got the help they needed. If you knew people would most likely respond positively to you twice as often as you thought they would, you’d probably have a lot more confidence to ask.Having been a consumer all my life and teaching sales for the past 20 years, I can tell you most salespeople fail to ask for the sale. They might fear being seen as too pushy or believe the propsective customer can sort out all the product features, weigh the benefits against the cost, and make a decision that’s in their best interest.But here’s the problem – as consumers, when we’re making purchases sometimes we’re overwhelmed by all the choices and price points. And the more money we’re about to spend the scarier it can be because we want to make sure we make the best choice. We want to avoid “buyer’s remorse.” A salesperson can alleviate much of that anxiety throughout the sales process but in the end the salesperson still needs to ask for the sale.One way to lessen the fear and increase the odds of hearing “Yes” is to learn up front exactly what the customer is looking for. If the salesperson can meet the customer’s requirements, then simply asking the following should work: “If we can get you A, B and C at a fair price, would you seriously consider buying from us?” Most people will agree to that; then it’s up to the salesperson to show their product or service has all the required features. This is known as “the up-front close” in sales circles.The reason this approach can be so effective is because the principle of consistency comes into play. This principle of influence tells us people generally live up to their word because they feel a little bad about themselves when they don’t. If someone says they’ll strongly consider you, your company or your product/service, then odds are they will if you can deliver what you said you would. Once the salesperson has asked the right questions up front and then clearly shows how their offering meets the requirements it becomes much easier and more comfortable to take the next step and ask for the sale. It’s like dating. Wasn’t it easier to ask for a date when you knew beforehand the other person was interested in you?Here’s my persuasion advice. You don’t have to live with the regret of what might have been. Remember, people are more likely to say “Yes” than you probably think. If you use the up-front close the odds that a customer will say “Yes” are significantly better. So remember – Don’t ask, don’t sell.Brian Ahearn, CMCT® Chief Influence Officer influencePEOPLE Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.Cialdini “Influence” Series! Would you like to learn more about influence from the experts? Check out the Cialdini “Influence” Series featuring Cialdini Method Certified Trainers from around the world.
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