I’ve traveled a lot this year and have a lot more trips coming up. If my travel schedule plays out I’ll have been on the road half of the weeks this year and spent at least 50 nights in hotels. Think about that– 10 weeks away from my family! Some days have entailed hitting the road by 4 a.m. to catch early morning flights and arriving home close to midnight. If you travel you know if can be tiring!Last month, as I waited to catch an evening flight home I got a text from my daughter, Abigail, asking if I wanted to get some ice cream at Graeter’s when I landed because she wanted to tell me about her first days of college. Despite being tired I agreed because I don’t view such times as a sacrifice; rather it was an investment in her and our relationship.As we waited in line I tried to decide what flavor I was in the mood for and whether I’d go with a single scoop or a double. If you’ve been to Graeter’s you know the ice cream is great but you pay a premium for it!
As I looked at the menu I saw a single scoop cone was $2.95 and a double was $4.25. I thought, “I just bought a half gallon of really good Homemade ice cream for just over $5,” so I was reluctant to get two scoops at that price. The other thought that raced through my head was, “That’s almost twice as much.” When you do the math, you know it’s not twice as much, but my mind quickly registered the $2.95 and $4.25 as $2 vs. $4 because those are the numbers each price started with.Something else that came into play as I decided what to do was the fact that I was still a little full from dinner a few hours ago. I decided to skip the cone to save a few calories so I asked for a single scoop in a cup. The server said, “Would you like a second scoop for just 50 cents more?” I recall thinking, “For 50 cents why not, that’s a good deal?” because in my mind the option of going from one to two scoops was twice as much ice cream but not at double the price.As it turns out, the single scoop in a cup was $3.75 and two scoops were $4.25…the same prince as the two scoops in a cone that I’d just decided to pass on! It was only a 50-cent difference but in the end I got two scoops…no cone…and paid the same amount I’d mentally rejected moments before!I read lots of books on the subject of persuasion, pricing, etc., and yet I ended up in the very place I was initially trying to avoid. Before you chuckle, I can assure you I could probably spot similar inconsistencies in some of your decision-making.So what happened to me? My focus shifted from “two scoops for nearly double the price” to “a second scoop for just 50 cents more” when in the end, the price was $4.25 in each case!When we make decisions we rarely do so in a vacuum. To assess a “deal,” we’re always making comparisons to other things. My first thought was two scoops for about the same price as a box of ice cream is not a good deal. However, knowing the first scoop was pretty expensive, getting a second scoop for just 50 cents more seemed like a great deal. My mistake was that I didn’t pay close attention to the price of a single scoop in a cone vs. the price of one scoop in a cup. I mistakenly assumed getting ice cream in a cup would be less expensive, certainly not more, because I couldn’t eat the cup.So here’s the “scoop” next time you’re faced with a similar decision.Try to remove your emotions from the decision. Many behavioral economics studies show people are emotional creatures that occasionally make rational decisions (i.e., We have five TVs but I want a 66-inch flat screen!).Recognize you’re always making comparisons to other things. Make sure you’re comparing to the right thing and don’t just look for something that will confirm what you emotionally want (i.e., I know we don’t need another television but it’s 50% off!).Take a moment to consider the value of the thing you’re considering regardless of what you’re comparing to. Value is subjective but oftentimes we ascribe too much value to things we believe will make us happier or more fulfilled (i.e., What will the 66-inch screen, even if on sale, really add to your life?).Follow these simple steps and you’ll probably make better decisions; the kinds you look back on with pride, not regret.
Brian Ahearn, CMCT® Chief Influence Officer influencePEOPLE Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.
4 Gestures That Turn People Off
© Andres Rodriguez
A new article featured on the Inc website suggests that small movements that you make–movements you probably aren’t aware of–could be the key to whether others trust you–or not.
The article features the work of Dr. David DeSteno, a Professor of Psychology at Northeastern University. The details of the study is outlined in this video.
Through their research, DeSteno and his team found that 4 specific gestures were associated untrustworthiness. Those gestures are:
1. Hand-Touching
The article suggests that hand-touching can make you look tentative and nervous, which could cause observers to think you are hiding something or not being honest, or that you lack confidence. Clasping your hands together may also be interpreted as a closing-off gesture: It could look as if you were putting up a fence between yourself and the people you’re speaking with.
2. Touching your own face
Touching your own face is a common gesture that signals you are thinking. But what you are thinking is unknown to those who are trying to determine if you can be trusted. And if they don’t know you well, the safe choice might be to decide that you’re up to no good.
3. Crossing your arms, and
Crossing your arms is a classic closing gesture. Crossing the arms tends to communicate that your true feelings will remain undisclosed, and that you are not open for collaboration.
4. Leaning Away
We like people who like us. When you lean in, you express the desire to be close. When you lean away, you could very well be seen as someone who is running away, disengaged, or avoiding contact–you’re aloof on the balcony, not moshing on the dance floor.
Those of us in any relationship, be it personal or professional, need to earn the trust others. With a little practice, you can avoid touching your hands and face, crossing your arms, or leaning away from people you’re conversing with.
Choose Your Words Carefully Because They Matter
This summer was a whirlwind! After an unusually heavy amount of travel in the first half of the year. I was looking forward to no airports or hotels until I began making the rounds for fall sales training. All of that changed when I made it known to the head of State Auto’s claims division that I was available if he needed my help. To be honest, I thought he might invite me to sit in on a few meetings in our home office and share my expertise in influence. Instead he asked if I would travel to each of our claims offices to give an overview of persuasion to all of our claim reps.Six cities and two-dozen sessions later I concluded with a presentation to the senior leaders in our claims division. As I fielded questions at the end of the talk I was reminded about the need to choose my words carefully. If anyone should be aware of this it should be the guy who teaches influence for a living! Having said that, we can all slip at times and I’m no exception. During the presentation, I shared about a particular application of the principle of reciprocity. This principle of influence alerts us to the reality that people feel obligated to give back to those who first give to them. The particular application I shared that day had to do with concessions. That is, when we concede a little by taking a step to the middle, quite often people feel obligated to take a step towards the middle in response to our first move.As I spoke about this I shared a story from Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., that shows how powerful concessions can be. Dr. Cialdini had some of his graduate assistants spread out across the campus of Arizona State University to randomly ask people this question:“Hi, I’m from the juvenile county detention center and we’re looking for people who would be willing to chaperon a group of juvenile delinquents on a day trip to the zoo. Would you be willing to volunteer?”As you might imagine, spending a day at the zoo with juvenile delinquents didn’t sound appealing so not too many people offered up their time. In fact, only 17% agreed to be chaperons.At a later time, to test the theory of concessions the graduate assistants started with a much bigger request then retreated to a smaller request upon hearing no. It went something like this:“Hi, I’m from the juvenile county detention center and we’re looking for people who would be willing to be a big brother or big sister for some juvenile delinquents. Generally we like people to commit a few hours every weekend and we ask that people sign up for two years. Would you be willing to be a big brother or big sister?”As you might imagine, nobody said yes because that’s a huge commitment but as soon as that offer was rejected the graduate assistants retreated to a smaller request, the one they’d asked people days before:“If you can’t do that, would you be willing to be a chaperon on a day trip to the zoo for some kids in need?”The response in that case was a 50% volunteer rate. That’s triple the initial request even though it was the same time commitment – one day at the zoo!You might not have caught the subtlety in how I shared that second request but someone from our legal department pointed out that the second request for the day trip to the zoo wasn’t exactly like the first request because dealing with “juvenile delinquents” is different than helping some “kids in need.” It’s probably easier for people to say yes to “kids in need” versus spending all day with “juvenile delinquents.”It was a good reminder for me about how powerful words are! The reality was both requests were identical in the study but I got lazy when I shared the story that particular day. In the study both requests were to spend a day at the zoo with some juvenile delinquents so it was an apples-to-apples comparison. This post isn’t so much about the power of reciprocity by way of concessions, as it is to remind us that we need to choose our words carefully because they matter. Frank Luntz, a conservative pollster, brilliantly shows this in his book Words that Work. I highly recommend the book because it will open your eyes to scripting used by political parties. For example: Taxes. If you’re against taxing inheritances passed down to family members you’ll talk about the “death tax” but those in favor of taxing inheritances will refer to it as the “estate tax.” Each description conjures up very different images and feelings.Immigration. If you’re for opening up immigration you might refer to people already here as “undocumented workers” but those against it call these same people “illegal aliens.” Again, each word choice creates very different mental pictures and feelings. These are just two examples of how word choice describing the same thing can make a very big difference in people’s perception of the issues. Remember, what you say and how you say it can make all the difference when it comes to hearing “Yes” or “No.”
Brian Ahearn, CMCT® Chief Influence Officer influencePEOPLE Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.
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