Our “Influencers from Around the World” post this month is courtesy of Hoh Kim. Hoh has been guest writing for so long I’m hard pressed to tell you something that hasn’t been said before so I’ll tell you this – I am very thankful I met him in January 2008 when we trained together under Robert Cialdini. Hoh and I have remained friends ever since and I’ve enjoyed our communication and getting to know each other even more. I encourage you to visit his website, The Lab h, and his blog, Cool Communications. You’ll also find Hoh on Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter. Brian Ahearn, CMCT® Chief Influence Officer influencePEOPLE Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.You Think You Don’t Have Authority? You’re Wrong?Do you ever find yourself thinking you don’t have any authority because you’re not the boss, a C-suite executive, a celebrity or something else like that? I’m here to tell you that you do have some authority! 1. Let me ask you this question first. Do you have experiences? Of course you have experiences. If you have experiences then you must have some expertise. Seth Godin, one of the world’s most respected marketing experts said, “Everyone’s an expert (at something).”So ask yourself, in what area do you have better, deeper and more experience? One good way to find your expertise is to write an “experience resume.” A typical resume will show you where you worked, which school you attended and what jobs you’ve held. An experience resume lists experiences, maybe up to fifty, you’ve had during your lifetime. It could contain trips, work, cooking, art, baby-sitting, reading, etc. You will find your expertise from the list by looking for patterns in the experiences or through connecting the dots among experiences. Here is a personal example; I like to teach and I like communication consulting in business as opposed to working as a full time teacher in a school or university. By combining those two I became a business coach. Also, I enjoy workshop facilitation and I like LEGOs so I learned LEGO Serious Play, a method of using LEGOs for business strategy development. Now LEGOs are one of the major teaching methods I use during my workshops.2. Once you identify your expertise you need to consider what evidence or symbols give other people proof of your expertise. Without having some evidence your expertise will not be perceived as such by your customers. Questions to be asked include: a) What advanced education or certification have you earned in your area of expertise? b) What awards or recognition have you earned? c) Have you written articles, books or contributed to other publications in your area of expertise? Don’t worry if you do not have enough evidence to support your authority yet. That means it should be part of your plan to obtain that evidence moving forward. Someone might say, “I don’t need evidence!” Perhaps. After all, neither Steve Jobs nor Bill Gates graduated from college. However, most of us are not Steve Jobs or Bill Gates! They now have tremendous evidence based on their amazing business results and great product innovations. That is the evidence to support the fact that each is a respected authority. Each of us has to have some evidence if we want to be recognized as experts in certain areas.3. Lastly, to build your authority you need to have E3 = Experiences, Expertise and Evidences. If you’re a manager here is one more very important tip. One of the key roles for managers is to help build their team member’s authority. Ask the above questions to your members and help them to identify their personal authority. If they need more evidence to support their authority you can come up with a plan to help them, including training or a project assignment. If you’re good at this you will be a successful manager.Here’s the bottom line – Authority is waiting for you to use! It just needs to be discovered then developed.Today’s column is based on my recent webinar “The Cialdini’s Influence Series for Managers.” In that webinar I talked about the principle of authority and while preparing I received help from two people with many experiences – Bobette Gorden of Influence At Work and Brian Ahearn. Thanks!Hoh Kim, CMCT® Founder, Head Coach & Lead Facilitator, THE LAB h
Thinking Is Some Of The Hardest Work There Is
Henry Ford, founder of the Ford Motor Company, once said, “Thinking is some of the hardest work there is, which is probably why so few people engage in it.” Thinking may not be like manual labor but for those of you who engage in deep thought you know it’s tiring! But why is that the case? Here are a couple of reasons: “The brain represents only about 2% of most people’s body weight, yet it accounts for about 20% of the body’s total energy use.” – from Brain Rules by John Medina.“The brain consumes 300% more caloric intake when engaged in cognitive evaluation and logical thinking than when in the automatic mode.” – from The 7 Triggers to Yes by Russ GrangerBottom line – that small piece of grey matter in our skulls requires a lot of energy and when used to capacity it leaves us quite tired. We do what we can to avoid working harder than we have to so Henry Ford might have been correct about our aversion to the hard work of thinking. Or perhaps our ability to reduce our thinking and save energy is a survival mechanism.Whether it’s laziness or survival, one thing is for sure, when we can think less and conserve energy we usually do it. This is important to understand if you want to become a better persuader. In March 2009, ABC News featured an article titled Expert Advice Shuts Your Brain Down. Here’s my Cliff’s Notes version of the article:Two dozen Emory University students are given complicated financial problems to solve. They’re hooked to brain imaging equipment so their neural activity can be observed. As they try to figure out answers to the problems their brains are hard at work! Eventually a professor from Emory University is introduced to the class, and it’s made known he’s also an advisor to the U.S. Federal Reserve. In other words, he’s a very smart financial guy. As he begins to give the students advice, even advice he knows is bad, their brains “flat lined” because they stopped critically thinking. So what went on there? From the perspective of the psychology of persuasion, the principle of authority was engaged. This principle of influence tells us people defer to those with superior knowledge or wisdom when making decisions.I like to share the ABC account because it illustrates an important fact about persuasion – it’s not pop psychology or some fad. When a principle like authority is engaged correctly it causes physiological changes in the brain and that’s part of the reason the principles of influence can be so effective when it comes to persuading others.Consider the Emory University students. Left on their own, they had to work hard to come up with answers. However, when a credentialed individual who is viewed as much smarter than they are comes into the equation everything changes. They can cease from the hard work of thinking!Each of us does this at different times. This is why we pay accountants to do our taxes, lawyers to defend us in court or stockbrokers to invest for us. We don’t want to do the heavy lifting associated with each of those mental activities. How does this understanding help you be a more effective persuader? Two ways.First, the more someone understands your expertise the less critical they will be of your ideas and recommendations. That’s not to say everyone will do what you want nor am I advocating trying to get people “brain dead” in order to persuade them. However, when they understand your expertise they will more readily accept your position just as the Emory University students did with the professor. You can establish your credentials on your business card (title and designations earned), through letters of reference and introduction, speaker bios, years in business, how you dress, the car you drive, etc. Each of these can indicate success which usually carries with it the assumption of some expertise.The second way to engage this is using outside sources. You may be an expert or maybe you’ve not established expertise yet. Either way, when you bring outside sources – other experts, graphs, charts, stats, etc., into the persuasion equation, you begin to bring authority into the mix and people will more readily accept what you’re sharing. How will you apply this concept? Next time you go into a situation where you need to be persuasive make sure people know your credentials up front. Doing so after the fact does little good because the person you’re attempting to persuade might have already made up his or her mind. If you go this route, do so by engaging someone to introduce you either in person or by email. When you do this, make sure the person making the introduction knows the most important credentials you have.The other thing you want to do is look for valid stats, charts, quotes or other references that show you’ve done your homework and there’s respected support for what you propose.Here’s an example of putting this into practice. I’m in the insurance industry and work for an insurance company. Quite often insurance agents will call their underwriter for more in-depth understanding of coverages or insurance provisions. An underwriter might answer the agent’s question off the cuff because they know the answer. However, if it’s not what the agent wants to hear the agent might contend with the underwriter. It’s a good bet the underwriter’s knowledge came from continuing education so why not cite the source of knowledge? Here’s how I would advise an underwriter to answer:“That’s a great question. I remember when I was studying for my CPCU…”Now the answer is not just opinion because it’s backed by the authority of the CPCU Institute.Sometimes seemingly simple things like citing a source or establishing credentials up front can make all the difference in turning a no into a yes.Brian Ahearn, CMCT® Chief Influence Officer influencePEOPLE Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.Cialdini “Influence” Series! Would you like to learn more about influence from the experts? Check out the Cialdini “Influence” Series featuring Cialdini Method Certified Trainers from around the world.
What If You Hate Someone You Work With?
Several years ago I was invited to speak to a couple dozen psychology students at The Ohio State University. They were working on their MBAs so as you might imagine it was a group of very bright young people. No doubt they had far more insight into psychology than I possessed but I did have something they didn’t, something they could all learn from – a lot of real-world business experience.As I shared the psychology of persuasion and its application to the business world, we got off on a tangent when we came to the principle of liking. This psychological concept simply alerts us to the reality that it’s easier for us to say yes to those we know and like. Think about it for a moment – there are many things you’d willingly do if asked by a friend that you’d never do for a stranger. So, make more friends and more people will be willing to help you when you need it.At one point someone asked, “What if you hate someone you work with?” I replied, “Hate is a very strong word and I can honestly say I don’t hate anyone I work with.” Then he rephrased his question, “Okay, what if you really dislike them?” I responded, “I don’t really dislike anyone I work with either.” I went on to explain why that was the case and I’d like to share my thoughts with you in this post because it might just make your life a lot happier and less stressful.Learning about the liking principle coupled with more than 25 years in business has taught me this – how much I like someone depends far more on me than it does on the other person. That’s because I can make simple choices that will not only get them to like mea little more, but will get me to like themmore at the same time!A couple of ways to trigger liking are to offer up genuine compliments and look for things we have in common. Let’s start with compliments. I firmly believe there’s good in every person. If we look for the good we’ll find it, and it will get easier and easier to keep finding more good things. Unfortunately all too often we look for the negative and that’s also easy to find. It’s a choice so which will you look for?Abraham Lincoln said, “Everybody likes a compliment.” When we do find something good and tell the other person, they feel good and begin to associate those good feelings with us. In other words, they start to like us a bit more. But here’s the interesting thing – that same approach is working on us too! When you look for something worthy of a compliment in another person and tell them, you begin to convince yourself that they’re a good person. The very same factor that causes them to like you makes you like them at the same time.Studies show when it comes to things you have in common with someone else, engage on those things and they’ll come to like you more. That happens because we give a lot of benefit of the doubt to people who root for the same team, were born in the same town, attended the same college, have the same pets, etc. And just as sharing compliments works in reverse, so does this approach. In other words, when you find someone who roots for your team, went to your college, has the same pet, etc., you come to like them more!I shared this with the psychology group and went on to tell them what I’d come to realize during my career was how much I like the people I work with depends more on me than it does them. That’s because I can continually make choices to offer sincere compliments and look for things we have in common. As I do this, I come to like them more. It doesn’t turn everyone in a best friend and it doesn’t mean I’ll come in early for coffee or go have beers after work with them all, but I can enjoy them while I’m with them.I’d venture to guess if you think about people who don’t enjoy life and the people who are a part of their life you’ll probably think of people who are not very outgoing, who don’t look for the best in others and are probably fairly negative.Here’s my two-fold challenge for you this week: 1. Make a concerted effort to look for things you have in common with other people AND then talk about those things with them.2. Choose to look for things you can genuinely compliment in other people AND then offer up a sincere compliment.I guarantee if you make this “the way you do life” you’ll have an abundance of friends, people who like you and people that you like in return. Do this and you’ll be able to say as I did years ago, “I can honestly say I don’t hate, or really dislike, anyone I work with.”Brian Ahearn, CMCT® Chief Influence Officer influencePEOPLE Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”. Cialdini “Influence” Series! Would you like to learn more about influence from the experts? Check out the Cialdini “Influence” Series featuring Cialdini Method Certified Trainers from around the world.
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