Social Engineering Blogs

An Aggregator for Blogs About Social Engineering and Related Fields

Good Lovers Lie

If you are honest with yourself, you are probably aware that when it comes to love – the truth is necessary, but so too are lies.

A quote from Clancy Martin in a NYTimes piece on the topic:

“Love is a greater good than the truth. No marriage, no parent’s love of a child should be scrutinized like a pathologist examining his cadaver. Save your ruthless pursuit of the truth for the laboratory; we lovers would rather be like Shakespeare: “Therefore I lie with her and she with me / And in our faults by lies we flatter’d be.” Don’t worry so much about ferreting out the truth. Take care of each other instead.”

And similar quote from a difference source:

“When you take a step back and put it altogether, the picture that emerges about intimate relationships is somewhat contradictory: Because our romantic relationships are so rewarding, yet so constrictive, we are simultaneously more truthful and more deceptive with those we love. Additionally, we place the most trust in the person who is most likely to deceive us, just as we are most likely to deceive the person who loves and trusts us the most. These are just a few of the paradoxes that emerge when taking a close look at the use of deception in our romantic relationships.”

For your own safety, keep the Machiavellians away

People with Machiavellian personality traits, also known as one of the dark personality traits, are extremely cynical and like to exploit others. While they can be charming, they are definitely not the type of person you want to be intimately involved with.

New research examines how Machiavellians approach sex. Overall the picture is bleak. Machiavellians use sex not as a way to foster intimacy, love and affection. But, they are more likely to use sex as a means for achieving their own personal goals such as revenge, increasing their status, gaining resources, or simply as a physical release, just to name a few.

And it should come as no surprise that Machiavellians are also more likely to engage in sexual lies and are prone to infidelity.

Source: Brewer, G., & Abell, L. (2015). Machiavellianism and sexual behavior: Motivations, deception and infidelity. Personality and Individual Differences, 74, 186-191.

Mate or date the man with the low-pitched voice?

The sound of a man’s voice conveys a lot of information; especially, about the amount of testosterone he produces. During puberty, men who produce more testosterone develop lower-pitched voices, which carry on throughout adulthood. The pitch of a man’s voice not only signals his level of testosterone, but behaviors associated with higher levels of testosterone: a higher sex drive and an inclination to commit infidelity.

While women are attracted to men with lower-pitched voices, they also seem to be aware of the risks of picking a long-term partner who is more likely to cheat. As such, women are more likely to be attracted to men with lower-pitched voices when selecting a short-term mate, but have reservations about selecting such men when it comes to settling down. As noted by the authors of the study:

“… women may generally perceive men with relatively masculine traits as sexually attractive, but less suitable as long-term mates.”

Dating is always more complicated then people realize. A host of factors weigh into our decision-making… mostly outside of our conscious awareness.

Source: O’Connor, J. J., Pisanski, K., Tigue, C. C., Fraccaro, P. J., & Feinberg, D. R. (2014). Perceptions of infidelity risk predict women’s preferences for low male voice pitch in short-term over long-term relationship contexts. Personality and Individual differences, 56, 73-77.