Marco Germani has been guest writing for Influence PEOPLE for four years. He’s written his own book on persuasion and applies the principles of influence daily as he travels the world selling wine. I encourage you to reach out to Marco on Facebookand LinkedIn.Brian Ahearn, CMCT® Chief Influence Officer influencePEOPLE Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.Three Keys to Consider when Negotiating with the ChineseA few years ago I attended an influence workshop put on by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., where the last part of the seminar was dedicated to applying the principles of persuasion to different cultures around the world. My understanding was the principles were immutable and universally accepted all over the planet but in fact Dr. Cialdini explained that in different cultures some principles are much more effective than others. As an export manager in the wine business, spending over 70% of my time traveling around the world and making deals, I started to pay attention to this aspect and I realized that Dr. Cialdini was absolutely right! What works in Italy is sometimes less effective in Germany or in South Korea, and the best way to carry out negotiations in the United States could be totally ineffective in Japan. In this week’s post I would like to focus on China, a country which I’ve had the chance to visit many times over the past seven years and which can be considered one of a kind in many aspects, including the way Chinese negotiate and persuade. This subject could be very vast but I would like to point out three main differences in the Chinese way of negotiating because this understanding can make a big difference if you ever find yourself doing business in China.1. The concept of “face” (Mian Zi)“Losing face” is considered one of the worst things that can happen to a Chinese person. Being diminished or worse, ridiculed, in front of others, is the ultimate humiliation in China and this must always be taken into account when negotiating. If yielding to your conditions could even remotely generate the feeling that your counterpart was wrong, proposed something inconsistent, or that makes him clearly “lose the game” when negotiating, the deal simply will not happen. This extension of the principle of social proof is a very sensitive subject in Asia and Chinese people in particular seem to care about it even more.A Chinese boss would never criticize or admonish a subordinate in front of others, as this would cause him to lose face. When bargaining in a street market a Chinese vendor would prefer to lose the sale rather than accept your first price. Taking this into account means always giving a way out to your counterpart in order to help him “save face.” It is surprising how many Westerns ignore this point and have trouble negotiating with the Chinese. If the negotiation is seen as a battle, in which a party wins and the other loses, in China the two parties are almost always bound to lose simultaneously. The “win-win” concept introduced by the late Stephen Covey in his best seller The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People is more relevant in China than elsewhere. It can be the deal maker or deal breaker, whether in a business or personal negotiation with a Chinese individual.2. The concept of relationship (Guan-xi)Business IS all about relationships and everybody knows it. In the newest edition of The Pyramid of Sale by Brian Tracy and other renowned sales trainers contend that the pyramid base is building relationships and trust with the customers, whereas in the past it was the presentation of the product. In China this concept goes even further. The nearly untranslatable word “guan-xi” literally means “network of relationships” but it has a deeper meaning, including how well you are perceived by influential people in your network and how you are able to help your business counterparts network with the influential people you know.When starting to negotiate with a Chinese person, the fact that you have common friends, or the fact that you have relationships with relevant people who might turn out to be useful to your counterpart, can give you a huge advantage. I consider this an extension of the principle of liking even though it has a deeper and subtler meaning.The skilled negotiator, when entering into a discussion with a Chinese person, will take care to inform the other of the influential people he knows or has business relationships with, letting the other understand that, if the deal between the two of them is made, this influential network will be put at his disposal as a natural consequence of starting a partnership. The problem with this attitude, which is widely used by Chinese people when negotiating with Westerns, is this; the information shared is seldom accurate and often purely instrumental to get a vantage point in the discussion. Let’s pretend I am trying to sell wine to a dealer in China. He might state that, if I accept his conditions and start a partnership with him, that he would introduce me to his best friend, the buyer of the largest Chinese retail chain, whom, thanks to his introduction, will seriously consider doing business with me as well. This is obviously just a negotiation technique, which appeals to the greediness of Western business people and in part to their ingenuity.3. The concept of circular thinking The last crucial information to know about when negotiating with the Chinese is the difference between the Western “linear” thinking and Eastern “circular” thinking. A few years ago I was involved in a long negotiation with a Chinese buyer of frozen pizza, produced by an Italian factory and to be distributed in several regions of China. This was going to generate a considerable amount of business for the seller. The negotiation went on for weeks and it seemed like we never reach an agreement. Every time there was a new issue popping out: exclusivity, special recipe for the Chinese market, color of the label on the package, selling price, payment terms, etc. In the end, and after several meetings with the owner of the company in China, a contract was finally written and it seemed to suit both partners. We celebrated together in one of those infamous Chinese banquets for more than five hours with alcohol flowing freely.A couple of days later, when the Italian CEO had already left China, I was incredulous when the Chinese buyer called me and he said he would like to meet me to again discuss several points of the contract. It seemed like all of the past efforts were useless and we were back to point zero. This was because I did not understand at the time the concept of “circular thinking.” For Western businessman reviewing an already signed contract means there’s something wrong with it which needs to be changed but for a Chinese businessman this might only mean they really would like to review the points and have them restated, not necessarily that they don’t agree with them or they want to change them. It is part of their culture and the process makes them feel safer and reassured. This must always be taken into account when negotiating with the Chinese. Reviewing over and over already established points is not a bad sign or a waste of time, it is just part of the natural process of negotiation in China!As said, the subject is much wider than this and I have treated it extensively in my eBook Business con la Cina (Bruno Editore – 2010, only available in Italian at the moment but maybe one day I’ll have it translated into English). For those who speak Italian, you can find it here www.autostima.net.Marco Cialdini “Influence” Series! Would you like to learn more about influence from the experts? Check out the Cialdini “Influence” Series featuring Cialdini Method Certified Trainers from around the world.
The Importance of Congruent Messages When Persuading
I had in interesting Facebook exchange not long ago. Someone posted a picture of an attractive young woman wearing a t-shirt that had the following message on the front, “To be old and wise you must first be young and stupid.” To be honest I didn’t pay attention to the rest of the post, which read, “Reinvent yourself with enhanced awareness, renew yourself with enhanced tolerance and regenerate yourself with enhanced wisdom.”Focused on the picture and the saying imprinted on it I light-heartedly commented, “But if you’re too stupid when you’re young you may not live long enough to become old and wise. : ) ”My Facebook friend replied, “@Brian: You mean ONLY stupid people die young?? Just to refocus your observation on the quote which is my thought – it is not on the t-shirt.”I replied one last time to let him know I didn’t think only stupid people die young. Of course, the more stupid things you do, the more risk you run of harming yourself, but even people who make good decisions experience bad things. This week’s post isn’t about Facebook or the stupid things young people sometimes do. What stood out to me after the exchange was the following communication problem that’s all too common – the message was incongruent.You see, the picture of the attractive lady stood out and in my mind the message on her t-shirt had nothing to do with my friend’s quote, which was what he really wanted to convey to readers. Again, his quote was, “Reinvent yourself with enhanced awareness, renew yourself with enhanced tolerance and regenerate yourself with enhanced wisdom.” If there was a connection, then how many others missed it too?When you’re trying to communicate with someone, perhaps even trying to persuade him or her, you’d better be sure every part of your message is congruent. For example, if I conduct a sales training session for business professionals I’d be foolish to not dress in a suit and tie or sports coat at a minimum. If I went to a training session dressed as I do on the weekends my appearance will detract from my message. People have expectations about how a sales trainer will dress just like you probably have ideas about how a minister should look at a wedding or a lawyer in a courtroom. When there’s a mismatch people can lose focus and the last thing you want is someone focused on how you look rather than your message.We also have expectations for the environments we find ourselves in. We don’t act the same in church as we do at work, a bar, or in a college classroom. We conduct ourselves differently in each place and acting like you’re talking in church to a room full of college students will lose them faster than they can update Twitter.When you want to communicate a message make sure everything has a purpose and that every part of the message builds to your main point. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard people say after a training session, “It was pretty good but he kept going off on these tangents that had nothing to do with the workshop.” If you have stories to share, make sure they add to the message and don’t detract from it.Practice helps and perfect practice makes perfect. Do you ever ask someone for feedback on a presentation before you give it? Running through your presentation with another, as you would if your audience were right there, will help you in multiple ways. One big way is to make sure the person sees how everything ties together. If you have to stop and make the connections for them then you might want to rethink your approach.The same can be said of writing. Have someone proof read your articles and blogFree webinar! Would you like to learn more about influence from the experts? Check out the Cialdini “Influence” Series featuring Cialdini Method Certified Trainers from around the world. posts. Have them challenge you and if something doesn’t make sense, ask yourself if there’s a better way to convey the message. Again, if you have to take extra time to explain what you mean then that should be a signal that other readers might not get your point either.Communicating a message is like traveling to a destination. Usually the shortest, most direct route is best. If you want to get there in a hurry then limit your excursions and make sure everything is working together like a well-oiled machine. The extra time and effort will be worth it when people go, “Ah, I get it.”Brian Ahearn, CMCT® Chief Influence Officer influencePEOPLE Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”. Free webinar! Would you like to learn more about influence from the experts? Check out the Cialdini “Influence” Series featuring Cialdini Method Certified Trainers from around the world.
Justification and Fanatical Fans
The college football season is now behind us and the last national champion of the BCS (Bowl Championship Series) era has been crowned. Congratulations to the Florida State Seminoles. While the BCS format was better than relying on multiple human polls (AP, UPI, coaches, etc.) each crowning it’s own national champion, the BCS was not without controversy. Continual controversy about which teams were the top two at year-end is a big reason fans are eagerly awaiting next season because the national champion will be determined in a four-team playoff system.While a playoff might be better than the current format, you can imagine the 5th, 6th and perhaps 7th teams will all believe they have a strong case for being one of the top four. Perhaps the controversy will only expand and maybe the additional intrigue will make the season even more exciting.What’s interesting about fans is their fanaticism. If you watch a game with diehard fans from opposing teams, a game where you have no stake in the outcome, you’ll see and hear interesting things.Each fan will believe the referees are against their team and favoring the opposing team. They’ll be quick to point out every infraction the referees missed that would have benefitted their team and they’ll argue most of the calls made against their team. Each fan will also think the television commentators are pulling for the other team and you might even hear them say ESPN or other media outlets are against their team. It’s almost an “us against the world” mentality. Fans are also an interesting bunch when it comes to admitting defeat or when another team might just be better. This came to light more than a month ago when my favorite college team (not my alma mater) – The Ohio State Buckeyes – lost their conference championship game. After 24 straight wins, that one loss dashed their hopes of playing for the national championship. A relative who is a big Michigan Wolverines (OSU’s big rival) fan took particular joy in telling me how Ohio State just can’t run with “the big dogs.” It didn’t matter to him that Ohio State had beaten his team 10 of 12 years, won the Big 10 championship six years in a row during one recent stretch, had won 24 straight games, made more BSC bowl game appearances than any other team, won as many BSC bowl games as any other team, played in three national championships and won the big game once. Pretty compelling resume for someone to conclude Ohio State has been much better than Michigan for the past 10-12 years. If it sounds like I’m bragging, I am a bit, but truthfully it was to point out how irrational fans can be. Under no circumstance would my relative ever admit the Buckeyes are better than the Wolverines, even over the past dozen years despite the clear evidence. Why do we irrationally hold on to certain beliefs in spite of the evidence against us, and continue to justify our beliefs? I believe it has to do with the principle of consistency. This principle of influence alerts us to the reality that people feel internal psychological pressure and external social pressure to remain consistent with what they’ve said, done or believed in the past.In his book Influence Science and Practice, Robert Cialdini shares a story about people going to a transcendental meditation workshop that promoted flying and walking through walls among other things. Despite the clear evidence against these practices people desperate for change went to the introductory session then justified their investment of time and money.It’s psychologically hard on us to admit that perhaps we were wrong about something and to stop justifying it. We see this phenomenon in more than sports. Take politics for example. We were led to believe if Obama was re-elected over Romney that our economy would suffer immensely. A gauge that’s often used to see how the economy is doing is the Dow Jones Industrial average. The Dow was around 13,000 before the election and despite a 300-point drop in the days immediately after the election it now hovers at record levels between 16,400 and 16,500. Democrats will say it is evidence their policies work while Republicans will give reasons for the rise other than government policy. Had the scenario been reversed and it was Romney that was elected, Republicans would gloat and Democrats would say the Dow increase is due to unethical business practices that really hurt most Americans. One thing is for sure; neither side would ever concede and say, “Perhaps we were wrong and they were right.” They will come up with reasons to justify their position.When my team lost that conference championship, as hard as it was, I acknowledged Michigan State deserved to win. Then Michigan State showed more metal beating a very good Stanford team in The Rose Bowl. Meanwhile my team was again outplayed in The Orange Bowl and lost, despite having opportunities to win. Ohio State was very good but not one of the elite teams this year and I’m okay admitting that.So what does all this mean for you in terms of influence? The next time you get into a debate about which people have a very personal stake – sports, politics, religion, certain social issues, etc. – recognize first of all, no matter what you say or do some people will refuse to change their point of view. But at least you know that now and perhaps it will lessen your frustration. If you want to dislodge people from irrational consistency here are five tips that might help: Don’t allow your emotions to get the best of you.Don’t argue your point because that will cause defensiveness.Ask questions that might get the other person to acknowledge small points where you might be correct.When the other person has a valid point acknowledge it.Exhibit patience because it might take several communications to gain ground. Brian Ahearn, CMCT® Chief Influence Officer influencePEOPLE Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.
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