Social Engineering Blogs

An Aggregator for Blogs About Social Engineering and Related Fields

How Often Do You Lie?

We all now know (especially if you read our blog frequently) that we lie everyday.  Most of our lies are white lies and harmless enough or are they?

According to Dennis Merritt Jones, a Huffington Post author, keynote speaker and spiritual mentor, some of those white lies are harmful and holding us prison.

In his article, “You Lie More Often Than You Think“  he suggests that we are conflicted between what we really think or want and our desire to not risk the disapproval of others.

Dennis describes an assignment he once gave to his students in a relationship class.  He required them to go one week communicating exactly what they were thinking and feeling to those they came in contact with such as their family, spouses, friends and even strangers.  The exercise revealed that many people are challenged in their ability to be honest.

He also points out that Buddha taught that attachment is at the root of all suffering.  This can mean attachment to anything:  a person, a job, a relationship, exercise, acceptance etc.  Saying ‘No” to someone can be done without harm to you or the person who is requesting something of you.  Just remember when you say “no”, it is not what you say but how you say it.

He goes on to quote Ralph Waldo Emerson, “The only sin that we never forgive in each other is a difference in opinion.”  His advice, ‘Explain to them [the person asking something of you]  that you are not rejecting them, only their request.  Know who you are and be free.’

The article goes on to ask these important questions:

Are you free to have a difference of opinion with others and express it without fear?  Can you say no without fear? And do you offer others the same freedom to say no to you without sending them on a guilt trip?

So, what are your answers?  Are you truly free in your relationships?

Charles Darwin and Emotions

As The Irondequoit Post reports, nearly 150 years ago Charles Darwin used photographs to study how humans use their face to show emotions.

Today researchers at Cambridge University use the power of the internet, videos and the technology of the 21st century to update Charles Darwin’s experiments. They believe the results could help them develop emotionally-aware computers capable of understanding their users’ emotions.

Research over the past several decades has documented seven universally expressed and recognized facial expressions of emotion: happiness, sadness, fear, surprise, anger, contempt and disgust. This idea about universal emotions started earlier than you might think: Charles Darwin (1809 – 1882) shared his ideas about the face and emotions in a book he wrote later in life, “The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals” (1872). Darwin thought that all mammals showed emotion reliably in their faces.

If you are interested in Darwin’s work, check out http://www.darwin200.org/.

Emotion Quotient

Do you know your emotional quotient?

Greater Kashmir reports that emotion reveals a person in public through a wide range of physical changes and facial expressions.  It is also very difficult to hide your emotions especially microexpressions that flash on and off the face in a matter of seconds.

Emotions and moods are essential to our identity and existence as humans. However, its important to also note that moods are different than emotions.

Dr. Matsumoto defines emotions as immediate, automatic, and involuntary reactions to events that are important to us. Moods, on the other hand, are states of mind that may make us more predisposed to having a certain emotional response. For example, being in an irritable mood may make a person more predisposed to becoming angry more easily.

Author Nighat Hafiz, writes that individuals run through a series of emotions with different intensities and duration.  Moods and emotion are different from temperament and personality traits but a positive correlation cannot be ruled out. A hot tempered person’s trait of aggressiveness may reflect in his flickering moods and expression of anger. A calm person with his quality of soberness may afford to keep his mood pleasant in the worst situations.

To find out more read Hafi’z opinion piece “Emotions Make Us Human“.