I’ve observed something in the last few years that I think has helped me become a much more persuasive individual and I’d like to share it with you. It’s something simple that you can do if you’re willing to commit an extra 10 seconds every now and then when you’re communicating with others. Here it is – Ask one more question. That’s all; just ask one more question. The interesting thing is people feel compelled to answer questions so virtually everyone will answer you when you ask one more question. What you want to do is ask the question in the same email or conversation in which you provide help for someone.Imagine a coworker has reached out to you for assistance. They sent you an email because they needed some information or insight from you. You share your expertise with them and then you add one more question at the end of the email. That question might be something like one of the following:”Does that help?””Is that what you were looking for?””Is there anything else you need?”Why is asking one more question so important? I think there are three reasons.First, you’re confirming what you’ve provided is what they needed. There’s no miscommunication because they’ll reply to tell you it’s exactly what they were looking for or they’ll clarify and ask you more questions. Either way miscommunication is avoided.Second, your follow up question reinforces what you’ve done for the other person. This engages the principle of reciprocity. Should you ever need help in the future they’ll be very likely to return the favor because this principle of influence tells us people feel obligated to give back to those who first give to them. If you don’t do a quick follow up the other person might get what they need and simply move on without acknowledging what you’ve done for them. While it may seem rude to not acknowledge the help, many people don’t just want one more email. But, when you ask one more question is almost guaranteed they’ll reply.Third, and most importantly, when you ask one more question to make sure they got what they needed people seem to answer much more positively. What I’ve noticed is the response I get is much different than a simple “Thanks!” Here are a few responses I’ve received over the past month:”That is outstanding – thank you – you’re the best!””OMG yes thank you so much! I really appreciate you!””Yes, that makes sense to me. Thank you for reviewing.””Thanks. All good stuff!”I think you can see each response was much better than a simple, “Thank you.” Everyone wins. Each person I helped was very thankful. They felt better about me, which engaged liking, and my authority was enhanced in their eyes. I also benefitted because, as noted above, reciprocity was engaged. If I need help down the road don’t you think each of these people would happily step up to the plate? I know they would.My persuasion advice for you is this – ask one more question this week. Whether by email or phone, after you’ve responded to someone’s request for help ask, “Did that help?” or “Does that give you everything you need?” I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised by the responses you get. Over time you’ll find it translates into becoming a more persuasive individual.
Brian Ahearn, CMCT® Chief Influence Officer influencePEOPLE Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.Cialdini “Influence” Series! Would you like to learn more about influence from the experts? Check out the Cialdini “Influence” Series featuring Cialdini Method Certified Trainers from around the world.